At a certain level, the feedback doesn’t stop. It just stops reaching you.
I recently worked with a leader who had risen steadily through the ranks of his organization. With each promotion, something unexpected happened. The feedback stopped.
Not officially. Not all at once. But gradually, the honest, candid observations that had once helped him grow became harder and harder to come by. This despite the fact that many of his direct reports had once been his peers.
It frustrated him. He knew there were things he could be doing better, more, differently. He just couldn’t get anyone to tell him what they were.
This is more common than most leaders want to admit.
A few things tend to happen on the way up. When a peer becomes the boss, the relationship shifts, and that shift breeds uncertainty. People who once spoke freely begin to weigh the risk of saying something you might not want to hear. Some quietly resent your ascent, even if they never wanted the role themselves. And hierarchy creates its own barrier: the higher you sit in an organization, the more people curate what reaches you.
But, there’s more underneath that than it might seem.
Many of the people around you have been burned before. They gave honest feedback to a previous leader and watched it backfire. That experience stays with them and they carry it into every new relationship, including yours.
Status plays a role too. When someone knows you have influence over their career, they begin to manage what they share with you. It’s not dishonesty. It’s self-protection. And it happens gradually, below the surface, often without either of you noticing.
There’s a third factor, and it can be hard for leaders to see. Even well-meaning leaders send signals they don’t intend. A distracted moment. A slightly defensive tone. A quick redirect when the conversation gets uncomfortable. None of it is dramatic. But people are paying close attention, and they learn from what they observe. If speaking up ever felt risky around you, even once, that lesson tends to stick.
When was the last time someone told you something that genuinely surprised you? If it’s been a while, that silence is worth paying attention to. Your success depends on hearing exactly those things.
So what do you do?
Start by identifying the people in your organization who are both trusted and candid. These are the folks with a real pulse on what’s happening and the courage to say it. Cultivate those relationships intentionally.
Then create multiple pathways for input. Some people will speak freely in a one-on-one. Others need the cover of anonymity. The goal is to make honesty feel safe, not risky.
And while relationships matter enormously here, they’re not enough on their own. Feedback that depends entirely on individual courage is fragile. The leaders who hear the most candid feedback tend to build structures that make it easier to give.
That doesn’t have to be complicated. A simple “What am I missing?” question at the close of a one-on-one or a meeting can open more doors than a formal review. A short anonymous pulse survey (three questions, sent quarterly) takes the burden off any one person. A debrief after a key decision or project that gives people a natural moment to reflect.
Feedback doesn’t have to be an event. The leaders who receive the most honest input make feedback a steady rhythm, not a rare event. When people know that honesty is genuinely welcomed, they’re more likely to offer it.
And perhaps most importantly, you close the loop. When someone gives you hard feedback and you act on it, say so. Out loud. That one move signals to everyone watching that you really do want to hear what they have to say.
The higher you rise, the more muffled the truth can become. It’s not that people aren’t talking, they are. Those conversations are just happening in the hallways and not in your office. That’s why the most effective leaders seek feedback out rather than wait for it to arrive.
If you’re not hearing the truth, it’s not because it isn’t being said.
Who are your truth-tellers? And are you making it easy enough for them to reach you?
