When you run into an obstacle, how long does it take before you reach out to your network for support? For most that I work with, it’s not the first, second, or even fifth option that they think of. I realize that some of this comes from messages we’ve received from society. Messages like, “pull yourself up by your boot straps” or “self-made.” We have the impression that asking for help is a sign of weakness.
The result is that we can spend far too much time, get frustrated and set it aside, or give up. When these obstacles stand between us and our achieving our vision, it’s important that we get comfortable asking for help. Your network can help facilitate your progress in a number of ways. Let me offer three:
- Guidance – The individual may have the expertise to offer clear direction on the topic you are struggling with. For example, let’s say that you are a newly hired senior executive about to present at your first board meeting. While you’ve had plenty of experience presenting to boards, you realize that what is important to each board is a bit different. Rather than simply doing what you’ve always done, or trying to anticipate what this board might want, a quick conversation with a peer who has presented to this board before could simplify the process of making your presentation more effective.
- Access – The individual may have the ability to open doors for you. During my doctorate studies, I knew that I wanted to research how facilitators created the conditions that made transformation possible but I had no idea how to find those individuals who would allow me to observe them. While speaking with a friend of mine about this dilemma, he said he knew of someone he thought might be perfect for this and offered to reach out to see if this person would be open to speaking with me. Fast forward, not only did this person allow me to observe him, he also introduced me to a peer who gave me the same opportunity. Had I tried to reach out to either of them directly, I’m fairly certain I would not have been met with the same openness.
- Promotion – The individual may be in rooms where decisions are being made. A client of mine had been trying for some time to get selected as a speaker at an industry-specific conference. While she’d been to the conference multiple times, and followed the posted process for submitting speaking proposals, she’d not received so much as a response. A review of her network revealed that she knew someone who sat on a committee for the conference. This person hadn’t known that my client was even interested in speaking at the conference. He explained to her that the selection process was two-fold. First, the selection committee reviewed each proposal and culled the list to those topics that seemed most relevant to their audience. Then, this short-list was shared with the leadership team for input. Specifically, the committee wanted to know if anyone on the leadership team could vouch for this person. Had they heard the person speak? Did they know the person? This person then agreed to review my client’s proposal, help to tailor it to the conference, and speak on her behalf to the selection committee.
The question is, how long will you grapple with the issues impeding your progress before you decide to reach out for help and close the gap?
