Today, Tony and I are celebrating our 30th anniversary. If you were to look at our PRISM portraits side-by-side (one of the features I love about this assessment), you might wonder how much friction there is in our relationship. My son would tell you that we have no friction. We have never fought and on those occasions where we do disagree, we constructively work our way through it.
Why am I sharing this? What does this have to do with your co-workers? While you may not work together for 30 years, it is important to build strong relationships with those on your team to achieve sustainable results. Here are some questions that may help you better understand those you work with.
- How do you approach conflict? Both Tony and I come at conflict with a strong preference for collaboration. In other words, when we have a conflict where both of us have a strong point of view, we’re comfortable taking longer to work our way through the issue until we find a win-win solution.
- How do you make decisions? Tony is an inward-careful decision-maker. This means that he will make sure he has the data he needs before making a decision, and, in some cases, the first time I’ll hear about something he’s been pondering is when he’s already made a decision. Conversely, I am an external-rapid decision-maker. This means I’ll come to a decision by talking it through, and I need just enough information to feel comfortable with it. Knowing this about one another enables us to engage each other more effectively. First, we get clear about whose decision it is…Tony’s? Mine? A joint decision? Then we explain what we need from the other person…a sounding board; to test our assumptions; to ask critical questions; to help us make the decision. An example of this was when I decided that I needed a car. Tony asked great questions to help me narrow my search and took the lead on researching the market to ensure I was getting the best deal.
- How do you process information? Tony tends to be more concrete, logical, and fact-based, whereas I tend more toward patterns, possibilities, and emotions (e.g. gut instinct). Early in our marriage, we went to look at a home, and I immediately fell in love with it. It had so many charming features. Tony shared his concerns about the viability of the house. For example, the 3 small bedrooms, 1 small bathroom, and lack of closet space — all of which were upstairs and couldn’t be reconfigured easily given the design of the home. We were both able to see the home through each other’s eyes and decided that it wasn’t the right place for us.
While Tony and I knew these things about one another through our years of marriage, most teams do not have the luxury of that time to learn about one another. This is where an assessment, such as PRISM, can help deepen one’s understanding of themselves and those they work with. The more you know and appreciate the strengths and preferences of each person on the team, the better able you are to leverage those to accomplish the team’s goals.
